Fractured
by Beccky
Summary: "In the end, it was worth suffering through pain, because it was sure as hell better than suffering through sadness." Since Allison had returned, Hanna felt like she was forgotten. Feeling lost and insecure, she returned to her old addictions for comfort. In a world full of people, she never felt so unwanted and alone. TW: Bulimia, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts. Read&review!(:
1. Fractured

The town of Rosewood, Pennsylvania was far from quaint. Beyond the pastel walls, the prim and proper people, and the glowing rays of sunshine, were dark secrets. Secrets that were meant to be kept and taken to the grave. Hanna Marin had one of them. Ever since Allison Dilaurentis, her former best friend had returned from God-Knows-Where, Hanna had been cast into the shadows. Every single resident was fawning over the girl who was thought to be missing, dead, even. Not Hanna, though. She could see through Allison's lies like they were glass.

Ali hadn't been _missing_ , she'd run away because of a pregnancy scare, and she wasn't even sure of who the father would've been. Allison, man-eater and master manipulator, was back. See, Hanna knew Allison was lying about being kidnapped because a month ago she had shown up and explained to her and the others the real situation. Though she had told the truth to _them_ , she had asked them to continue spread the lie she made for _her._ Ali had barely even recognized Hanna when they came face to face. This was because the last time they had seen each other Hanna had still been known as 'Hefty Hanna'. The stress and eagerness to be beautiful had gotten to her, though, and Hanna had fallen into an addiction that Ali had introduced her to: Bulimia.

Since she ate and purged, she was never hungry, and the weight melted right off. She had cut the long blonde locks that reminded her of Ali, and had dyed the tips black, she had swapped the mini skirts and dresses for leather jackets and skinny jeans.. Never had she felt more amazing. Once she had lost all the weight, she changed everything about herself so she would not be reminded of her past. Of Ali. Still, two years later, Hanna had learned to somewhat control her Bulimia, but she was still drawn to the addiction. Whenever she felt stressed or sad, she would purge. Almost immediately she would feel light, and happy, and confident.

Nobody knew about her secret, except Allison. Not Spencer, not Aria, not Emily, and definitely not her boyfriend, Caleb. She would keep this secret for as long as she lived, because although it made her happy, Hanna knew that what she was doing was wrong. Right now, she was in the bathroom of The Brew, staring at her reflection in the mirror. It was only a month that Ali had been back, and already she felt like everyone had forgotten about her. Her big blue eyes gazed back at her, and Hanna forced her pink lips into a small smile. Her hands gripped the sides of the sink so tightly, her knuckles were turning white.

She gazed at her own reflection for a few moments more, before reaching into her bag and pulling out a tube of lipgloss. Toffee Tango. Swiping it on her lips, she put it back in her bag, and fluffed her hair. She turned and made her way towards the exit, pausing briefly, before going out the door. Walking down the hall, she turned into the main room of the Brew, and found her friends s=and Caleb sitting on the couches. Hanna walked over to them, before noticing that Ali was there.

"Hi, Han," Ali said, smiling at her. Hanna thought briefly that her smile looked like the one of Cheshire Cat, but kept the thought to her self. "I just got here, so i hope you don't mind that i took your seat," The smile was still there, but Hanna could see the threat behind it. _Don't question me_ , is basically what her look was saying. Forcing a small smile back, Hanna nodded.

"I was on my way out, actually. Just had to do a make-up check. I'll see you in English, Spence." Without another word, the blonde exited the coffee shop without her boyfriend, and walked quickly to her car. Sitting in the driver seat, Hanna laid her head back against the seat and sighed. She felt the fury and disgust rising and bubbling in her stomach, and she swallowed hard. She would _not_ let her weakness show.

Allison was replacing her. She felt like nothing, absolutely insignificant when Ali was around. It wasn't fair. Hanna worked so damn _hard_ to conquer the battle against her self-confidence. The others had no idea how easy they had it. Spencer was the smart one, Emily was the talented swimmer, Aria was the artistic one, Ali... The popular one. What was Hanna? The fat one, the dumb one, the ugly one. Nobody would believe that in her spare time, Hanna read crime novels and mysteries, and nobody would care that she spent _hours_ primping until she deemed herself acceptable to society, until she felt less ugly.

Her fate was already decided for her, and she was going nowhere in life. Honestly, she didn't even know why Caleb was with her. Caleb was great; he was smart, savvy, handsome, funny and he was great and solving problems. Maybe it was because they had an understanding of one another. His father had given up on him, and Hanna's father definitely had given up on her. They both came from broken homes, but Caleb didnt seem as broken as she was. Tears threatened to pierce her eyes, and she blinked hard to force them back. Why did she have to be who she was? Why couldn't Hanna be as great and magnificent as the rest of her friends? Hanna sniffled, staring at the dashboard for what seemed like hours, when she heard two hard knocks on her window. Jumping in surprise, Hanna turned to face the knocker, and found Caleb. Without a word, she unlocked the door and Caleb slipped into the seat next to her.

"Hanna...hey, what's wrong? I mean, you've been moody and distant these past couple of weeks, and i just want to know what's wrong. You know I'm here for you." Caleb's full lips curved into a half-smile, which Hanna did not return.

Still refusing to look at him, she narrowed her eyes and let out scoff of disbelief. She hated doing this, but she had to push him away. She'd rather hurt now, than be hurt later. If he didn't leave her now, she was certain he'd be fed up with her and leave later. "Really, Caleb? If I'm being so moody and distant, why don't you just, i don't know, _leave_?" Her azure eyes turned to pierce into his whiskey-colored ones. Caleb blinked, obviously taken aback by her outburst, and felt even more confused, but also angry. He was just trying to help her, for god-sake. She knew that by acting like this she would be crushing his love for her, but it was a risk she was willing to take. He would get tired of her eventually. Everyone did. Caleb stared at her for a few moments, until his eyes went cold.

"You know what, Hanna? Maybe i will. I love you, and I know you're hurting for whatever reason, but you're not opening up to me. I don't want anymore secrets, but you seem to be full of them. I can't do it anymore, i'm done. We'll talk when you're ready to tell the truth." He turned to open the car door, but hesitated for a moment, before leaving and slamming the door behind him. Hanna waited until he was out of sight before letting the endless stream of tears fall. Her heart was heavy with so much pain, but she knew it had to be done. Hanna would rather inflict pain on herself than have it done to her. At least she could control it. It hurt, but it was worth it. In the end, no matter how much she loved Caleb, and no matter how much he claimed to love her, he was better off without her. They all were. In the end, it was worth suffering through pain, because it was sure as hell better than suffering through sadness. When she finally stopped crying, she wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve, and looked into the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, and her skin was several shades paler than she usually was. But no longer was there sparkle in her eyes, there was nothing. Just blank, dead. Hanna was speeding on the path to self-destruction, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop herself.


	2. What Becomes of the Broken Hearted

Caleb Rivers walked briskly back into the entrance of the Brew. His honey-brown eyes were slit in anger, and his jaw clenched in utter frustration. _Why don't you just, I dont know,_ leave? Hanna's biting words had embedded themselves into his mind, and all he could see were oceanic eyes devoid of any love.

What had _happened?_ It just didn't seem to make any sense. Where was the funny, sassy, but lovable Hanna Marin? Where was the girl he fell in love with? Ever since Allison had come back, it seemed Hanna had withdrew from everyone. Especially him. He just couldn't comprehend why. Honestly, shouldn't she be _happy_ Ali was back? The others definitely were.

Sure, Ali had been manipulative and mean back then, and Hanna still believed she was the same, it seemed. Caleb knew that Ali hadn't always been the nicest to Hanna, but he hadn't noticed her pulling her old tricks. To be fair, he didn't know the full extent of Ali and Hanna's relationship, but he thought it was just one of those grudges girls held against each other. Honestly, Hanna _could_ hold a grudge. Ugh.

He shouldn't even be thinking about her right now, but she was ingrained in his mind. He felt like she was a part of him, and he didn't feel whole without her. It sounded cheesy, yeah, but it was the truth. All he wanted was what was best for her, so why did she have to go and break his heart? The guilt was weighing down on his heart for leaving, even though she had basically told him to. Love was strange like that. Love challenged the sanity of even the steadiest of minds. He ran a hand through his hair, and let out a weary sigh. Was this permanent or could he fix things with her? Would she even let him fix things? He stood there lost in thought for ages it seemed, because the next thing he knew, there was a hand waving in his face.

"Hey, Caleb. Caleb. CALEB!" He snapped his attention to the willowy brunette in front of him. His eyes locked on to the chocolate brown eyes of Spencer Hastings.

"Sorry," He muttered, feeling his face flush slightly. Spencer merely cocked a brow, and folded her arms.

"So, did you talk to Hanna? Did you find out what was wrong?" Her expression became one of worry, her eyes searched his for an answer.

"No, I didn't find out what was wrong, exactly. Hanna and I broke up." His voice wavered a bit, and he narrowed his eyes in mild embarrassment. _Calm down, Rivers. Man up._

Spencer's jaw dropped and her face changed from shock, to confusion, and then to anger. Caleb took a cautious step back, not wanting to get into the line of fire if Spencer tried to smack him.

"You, _WHAT?_ Why? Hanna loves you, you love her!" Caleb sighed again, and dragged a hand down his face in irritation. Leave it to the smartest person in the group to state the obvious. Typical Spencer. It was actually pretty funny how uncomplicated the things she said were, when she was sometimes the most complicated person ever.

"Yeah, I know that, Spencer. I don't know, it's just she's been acting so weird lately and I tried to get to the bottom of it, but she pushed me away. I told her I couldn't take anymore secrets from her, and I left." He paused, furrowing his brow in frustration. Only Hanna knew how to get under his skin, and when she did, it nearly drove him mad.

Spencer pushed a tendril away from her face, and sighed. She knew that Caleb and Hanna's relationship wasn't perfect, but she never expected them to split over something so miniscule. Yeah, so Hanna didn't want to talk _now_ , but maybe she would when she was ready. Didn't Caleb get that? Patience played a big role in relationships, as did communication. "Just because things get hard doesn't mean you _leave,_ Caleb." She rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"So what do I do, then? Apologize? I'm lucky if she even tolerates me being within ten feet of her, seeing as how I acted."

"I mean, Apologizing is a great start. But actions speak louder than words. Duh. Hasn't anyone ever told you that?" Her full lips pulled up into a smirk, and it was Caleb's turn to roll his eyes.

"Of course I know that, Spencer. But what do I _do_?" He nearly whined the last part, mentally kicking himself for sounding so desperate and clueless. _Might as well have 'Dumbass' written on my face. Get your head out of your ass, Rivers._

"Well, right now, maybe it's best to give Han a little space. In the meantime, though, you need to figure out how to physically show Hanna that you're sorry and that you love her." Caleb opened his mouth to protest, but Spencer quickly shut him down. "Don't ask me for help, either. You need to figure this out on your own. You messed up, not me." Caleb winced a little at her words, they were harsh, but very true.. Damn. How in the hell was he going to do this?

"Anyway, I have to get going. School's going to start soon. We don't want to be late, right?" She looked pointedly at him, before brushing past him, and out the door. Caleb turned around and followed suit. He wasn't quite sure he was going to go to school, though. He had a lot to think about, and he just didn't think he could handle seeing Hanna after he literally just broke up with her. _Way to go._ All Caleb knew was that he would figure out how to express his remorse and his love for Hanna simultaneously, no matter what it took. That was what love was all about, right?

Hanna let the now empty bottle of Vodka she had stashed in her car drop to the floor. Fucked up, right? Not even two hours ago she let the love of her life go, and she was trying to down her sorrows in a sea of alcohol.

When she wasn't puking her guts up, Hanna turned to her second vice, drinking. No, Hanna was no stranger to alcohol. Her head slumped against the window, and groaned in disgust. Obviously, Vodka wasn't the fruit of the fruit when it came to alcohol.

Whatever. Here she was, a screwed up seventeen year old trying to find the solution to her problems at the bottom of a bottle. Pathetic. _Look at you. No wonder Caleb was fine with leaving. You're a fucking loser. A mess. Don't you know that by now? He could do better than you._ Hanna felt the blood pounding in her head and she let out a guttural scream. It was fine, nobody was around to hear her anyway.

"SHUT UP!" She screamed at herself, willing the voice in her head to stay silent. She felt angry tears welling up in her eyes, and she punched the dashboard in frustration. It was so hard, being like this. Why couldn't she just be _normal_ , for fucks sake? She pulled at her hair in anger, not caring that tears fell.

All she wanted was to be numb, to not feel anything at all. Didn't anyone know what it felt like to want to be somebody else, _anybody_ else? Didn't anyone just get so tired of being in the same skin, unable to change how life turned out for them? Wasn't there anything else in the world that could take her pain away besides the alcohol that was running through her veins. She felt disgusting. She felt like a complete waste of life.

What the hell was she contributing to the world ,except helping slowly decline the amount of alcohol? For fucks sake, what did Caleb _see_ in her? She may as well have been blind, because she sure as hell couldn't see it. Was she ever going to stop negative thoughts about herself? _Well, there certainly wasn't anything positive to think about._ She didn't want to be this girl ,she didn't want to be broken, but she was.

It was like there'd always be that once piece missing from her, like the last puzzle piece that always gets lost. As far as she could see, Caleb was insane for dating someone like her, for loving her when she was clearly not worthy of love. It was her fault that he left her, after all. Maybe he finally realized how much better he could do, and the thought snapped what was left of Hanna's heart into pieces. Was that why he left so easily, because he knew she wasn't worth it? She had been expecting him to fight back, to protest, _something._

She had expected the wrong things, it seemed. Caleb obviously was over her, he knew he could do better, and worst of all, he probably never loved her. Was it all a lie? Was it all just pity? _Of course he just feeling sorry for you. Look at him, and then look at you. He could have any girl he wanted, he only chose you because he felt sorry for you._ Hanna looked into the mirror briefly, before turning her head in disgust. Resignedly, she let out a choked sob, before picking up the next bottle and opening it. _Bottoms up._ She sobbed again, before taking a long sip. Maybe the alcohol couldn't take the pain away, but it could momentarily make her forget. All she wanted to do was forget. _Everyone's already forgotten you, anyway._

 **Hi Guys! Sorry for the delay! I've been busy with school and work to update anything, but here you go! Wanted to give a quick shout out to So12cc21er and Consider Me Glitter for reviewing! Thank you so much, guys! This chapter is for you (: Also, to those reading My Secrets, I am SO SO SO sorry. I had actually finished the chapter a while ago, but it got deleted when my laptop crashed, so i've been trying to re-write it by memory. I PROMISE I will have it up by Tuesday. Anyways, Thanks for reading, let mek now what you think! See you next time!**


	3. Everything is Lost

Do you know that feeling, when you've lost all hope in yourself, and the misery feels like its never going to end? That's exactly how Hanna Marin felt at this moment. Looking down at the glowing green numbers of her clock, Hanna realized that she'd been passed out for _hours. It was five o' fucking clock._ She shifted, before letting out a slight groan of frustration. Looking down, the two bottles of vodka she stupidly drowned her sorrow in were laying at her feet. Hanna rolled her eyes in bitter irritation. Suddenly, immense pain seized her head and she let out an agonized hiss. _Fucking hangovers. Only bad thing about drinking._

She opened the glove compartment in her car, and pulled out some ibuprofen. Popping them in her mouth, Hanna realized she needed water. Reaching in her bag, Hanna took out the bottle of water, and gulped the pills down. The faint buzzing sound of her phone was heard, and rolling her eyes, Hanna picked it up. The notification screen informed her that she had 7 missed calls, three new voicemails, and four text messages. Oh. _Now everyone decides to worry about her. Awesome. Caleb must have told someone about their break up. Fanfuckingtastic._

 _ **Mom: Hanna, where are you? I got a call from the school saying you were absent. Call me back NOW.**_

Hanna rolled her eyes. The _one_ time I don't show up, there's a witch hunt out for me. Ugh. She'd call her mom later, right now she just wanted to see who else had decided to contact her.

 **Spencer:** _ **Han, I didn't see you in English, or at school. All day. Are you okay? Caleb told me you and him broke up… Ali figured you were sick or something**_

Wow. It didn't really surprise her that Ali would swoop in and try to direct the little attention Hanna was receiving away from her. It always _was_ like Ali to belittle anything Hanna went through, to minimize her feelings, to make her feel insignificant. Why couldn't any of her other _friends_ see that? Were they blind? Honestly. Spencer was supposed to be the perceptive, smart one, but she couldn't even see that Alison fucking Dilaurentis wad trying to break up Hanna's friendships with the others. Nobody could see that, not even _Caleb._ Caleb didn't even like Alison, but here he was falling under her deceptive spell, and making Hanna look like an irrational idiot.

 **Spencer:** _ **Hanna, I called Caleb, I had to. I'm sorry, but your behavior is worrying to me. You seem…different. If something is wrong, you know you can talk to us, so why don't you? Call me.**_

Tears prickled at her eyes. _Why_ couldn't anyone else understand? _She_ was the odd one out. Why was Spencer acting like she cared? Was it all an act? Where was she weeks ago? Something stirred in her chest and seized at her heart painfully. Why… Why did everyone have to leave her? Why did everyone think it was okay to leave and come back into her life whenever they damn pleased? She was _so_ fucking hard of caring, of trying to be loved. Her own dad didn't even want her. Why would her friends? She was a waste. She gave so much… nobody could see that. Stupid. So fucking stupid. Hanna couldn't understand. Why did Ali have to isolate her, why did she have to take everyone and everything from her?

She didn't even realize she was crying until big, fat tears splashed down her face. Her heart felt so used, why did she have to be so trusting? Her lower lip trembled with sadness, and Hanna couldn't help but be disgusted with herself. Here she was crying over people who probably wouldn't give two shits if she disappeared. As soon as Ali came back… she lost everything. She lost everything she worked so hard for. Was it all for nothing? She wiped her eyes, narrowing her eyes at how soaked her sleeve was from tears. Glancing down at her phone, she read the last text message, and it broke everything inside her.

 _ **Caleb: Hanna… I love you, and i'm sorry for leaving, I was just upset. It wasn't right, I know. I understand if you're mad at me, but please talk to me. You know i'm here for you, and I know that you're going through something. Please, please just talk to me. I love you. I'll be here.**_

Hanna choked back a sob, and felt so many emotions rising into her chest as she read that. Anger, sadness, doubt, hope, desperation. They all flooded her heart, her mind, and her head felt heavy with overwhelming pressure. He was lying… She couldn't take any more pain. He was obviously just trying to feel less guilty by lying to her. He wasn't here for her, he didn't love her. If he did, wouldn't he see how much pain she was in?

Caleb was blind like the rest of them. They were just trying to reach out to her so they could feel better about lying to her. Nobody cared about her. It was all just an act… if she gave in, she'd be proving Ali right, that she _was_ the dumb one. Hanna felt so conflicted, because she _loved_ Caleb and her friends, with every worthless bone in her body. Why couldn't things ever be easy? She started the ignition, and began driving back to her house. Home. She wished she could lock herself inside her room and stay there forever, she wouldn't have to go through anymore pain.

A few minutes later, she pulled into her driveway. She was about to get out of her car when she saw the last person she wanted to see right now, sitting on her front steps. Hanna stayed in her car for a few moments, frozen. How dare he try to come to her house after he just up and left her? Did he _honestly_ think a lame, texted apology was going to fix things? Frustrated, she hopped out of the car, and started for the steps. When she reached them, Claeb stood up, hands stuffed in his pockets.

His whiskey eyes were scrunched in sadness, but Hanna couldn't tell if it was real or not. She was so messed up on who was lying to her or not. She didn't want to believe his feelings were fake… but hse couldn't help it. Her heart hurt from thinking such thoughts. Her friends lying to her was one thing, but the boy she loved, the boy she felt she couldn't live without… but if he was? It destroyed her to ponder that thought.

"Hanna…" He trailed off, his voice leaking with anguish. He reached out to her, but she took a step back from him. She folded her arms across her chest, willing the tears that were threatening to spill, to stay. Watery brown locked onto glassy blue… just looking at him made everything inside her scream with despair.

"What do you want, Caleb?" Her voice wavered at the end, and she cringed slightly at how weak she sounded. She didn't want to be weak. She had to be strong… Hanna couldn't let him see how much he had hurt her… even though she had provoked him to.

"Just tell me what's wrong… you've never been like this. I know something is wring with you, but you won't open up. I'm sorry I ran… but I just couldn't handle any more secrets-" Hanna shot him a deadly glare, and cut him off.

"You couldn't handle any more secrets, or you couldn't handle _me_?" A single tear trailed down her alabaster cheek, but she didn't avert her eyes from him.

"No, Hanna! That's not what I meant and you know it!" A tear spilled down his own cheek, and Caleb angrily wiped it away. Why couldn't she see how much he loved her? Why couldn't she just tell him what was wrong?

Hanna let out a shaky sigh, wiping her nose with the back of her sleeve. Unbelievable, he was trying to make her look like the bad guy. No, _He_ left _her. "_ Then how could you leave so easily, Caleb? How could you just walk away like that?"

" _You_ told me to, Hanna!" Tears were now now running freely down his cheeks, staining his handsome face. He clenched his fists in frustration.

Hanna's voice was small when she spoke. She hated sounding so weak, but she couldn't help it. "Why did you _listen_?" Her brilliant blue eyes were filled with tears, and her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.

Caleb was at a loss for words, and he and Hanna just stared at each other in uncomfortable silence. She wanted so badly to run into to his arms, to feel his warmth, to feel like she was wanted. Hanna resisted it, though. She wasn't sure if she could forgive Caleb. She sighed, closing her eyes. She detested how weak he made her.

He finally spoke. His voice was soft, sounding ashamed. "I… I don't know. But I do know that I love you, Hanna. I do. Please, can we move past this?"

Her eyes became two blue fires burning holes into him. How could think that she would forgive him so easily? Did he really think of her that easy, that weak-willed? No! She couldn't let him think that. His beautiful brown eyes stared at her, filled with desperation and pleading. Hanna willed herself not to cry, or to give in. Her heart tugged and pulled as she looked at him, and she kn ew as much as this was going to hurt, she had to do it. It would change everything, but it had to be done. She would _not_ be played with. No, her heart was not a toy.

Sighing, Hanna closed her eyes again. When she opened them to look at him, her eyes were cold. She let the anger, the sorrow, the pain, the emptiness consume her. There was no turning back.

"No." She shoved past him before he could respond, as she opened the door to her house, she heard him cry her name. He had made his bed, and so had she. Hanna wouldn't take any more bullshit. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her mom standing there with a sympathetic look on her face, but Hanna ignored her and walked up to her room. Locking the door behind her, she walked over to her bathroom. Seeing Caleb's tshirt that she wore to bed on the counter broke her. She promptly turned to the toilet and let all the sorrow, the anger, the pain, and the guilt flow into it. Weakly, she stood up and wiped her mouth, and stumbled over to her bed.

Crawling in it, she pulled the covers over her and curled into a ball. Everything that happened today flooded her mind, and Hanna felt empty. Love was twisted like vines, but so fragile like glass. Her phone buzzed beside her, and she angry turned it off. She didn't care right now, she didn't care about anything. Before all she could ever think about was her life with Caleb, now she had to think about her life without him.

Hanna lost the love of her life, and it killed her. Do you know that feeling, when you've lost all hope in yourself, and the misery feels like its never going to end? That's exactly how Hanna Marin felt at this moment. Everything inside her felt broken beyond repair. Somehow, Hanna knew it wouldn't get better. All she knew is that tomorrow she had to see him tomorrow, and she was scared. She felt like her life was closing in on her, and soon she'd stop breathing. Everything… it was too much. What did she do to deserve so much pain? This felt like the beginning of the end. This felt like the end of her. Her bones ached with grief, and Hanna didn't bother closing her eyes. There would be no sleep for her tonight.

 _Everything is lost and this nightmare's closing in… There's a sorrow beneath my skin._

 _This is the end… this is the end of me. (A/N I fell in LOVE with that song. It was the inspiration for this chapter. Also, was it just me, or did it seem like Hanna was nervous to be around girls on last nights episode? Anyway, Shoutouts to Consider Me Glitter, Maya, Shinae, Mimi, and the Guests who reviewed. Thank you SO much! You guys are awesome, i'm glad you're liking this story._


	4. Toxic

**Hey, Guys! Sorry for the delay! Classes just started for me, so i've been busy, busy, busy! Anyways! Who's been watching PLL so far? Season Six is pretty awesome, right? Shoutouts to .xX, Guest, and Amy and PLL Lover. Thank you so nmuch for the reviews! Hope you're still reading!**

Spencer Hastings was currently sitting down at the groups designated lunch table. Aria Montgomery and Emily Fields, her other friends, were sitting across from her. Alison Dilaurentis had yet to make an appearance. At the moment, the three girls were discussing the issues surrounding Hanna. It just didn't make any sense to the other girls as to why she was isolating herself from them. Caleb had called her last night, nearly crying. She knew that he was trying to remain strong and not show his weakness. Apparently he had gone over to Hanna's house to see if they could reconcile, and that plan blew up in his face. _It just didn't make any sense._ Caleb and Hanna were head over heels for one another, but the past month all they seemed to do was drift apart. Not to mention she was drifting apart from them. But _why_? Honestly, it was hard to find the answer to the question when the girl who had all the answers wasn't even returning her calls. Jeez, Spencer felt kind of like a stalker, with the amount of effort she had put in trying to get Hanna to talk to her. She bit her lip, deep in thought, when a voice snapped her out of it.

"-Do you think that's what it is, Spence?" Aria's hazel eyes grabbed her attention.

"Hm, what?" Spencer chuckled lightly, mildly embarrassed that she wasn't paying attention. _She_ started the topic, after all.

Aria rolled her eyes, and shrugged before repeating herself. "I was saying, Hanna _was_ really upset that her dad wasn't going to pay for college. Do you think that's why she's acting so weird?"

No, that couldn't be it. Hanna was upset about that, but she already knew her dad was kind of an asshole, so it didn't effect her _too_ much. In the past month, all Hanna really had to deal with was Ali coming back, her dad not helping her, and just normal teenage things as far as she knew. _Wait._ Alison? Did Ali have anything to do with Hanna's behavior? Hanna and Ali didn't exactly have the _best_ friendship. Theirs was...complicated. Hanna never really gave the full extent of her friendship with Alison, almost as if there was some secret behind it. Now that Spencer really thought about it, Ali was actually kind of hostile towards Hanna. She had always gave Hanna some backhanded compliments, or put her down.

"No. That's not it. Guys..." Spencer lowered her voice so no prying ears would hear. "Do you think Ali is somehow involved in all of this?"

Emily furrowed her brow, twisting her mouth at Spencer. "Wait, what makes you think that? Ali is her friend, our friend." Aria nodded her head in agreement, and Spencer couldn't help but inwardly roll her eyes. Emily was loyal to a fault, _especially_ when it came to Ali. When it came to Alison, Emily was more blind than Jenna Marshall. Of course this was metaphorically speaking. Ali could do no wrong in Emily's eyes, it seemed.

"Em, think about it. Hanna was _fine_ before we found out Ali was back, and now that she's actually back, Hanna is _different._ " Spencer tucked a curl behind her ear and sighed. She only wished she knew what had transpired between Ali and Hanna to make the latter girl so resentful and distant. Of course, she knew it would take eons before Hanna opened up, and Alison of course was going to claim innocence. Rosewood may be perfect, but its inhabitants were certainly flawed.

"I mean, her and Caleb broke up, couldn't that be why she's not herself?" Emily's voice had the slightest hint of hope, and Spencer sighed in return.

"No, Em. Hanna and Caleb broke up because Hanna was like this _before_ they broke up. Like, right around the time Ali came back. I think something happened between them that neither of them are telling us." Spencer rested her chin the palm of her hand, wracking her brain for any clue as to what might've happened. It was hard to know when you weren't exactly there.

"Well, what do we do, ambush Ali and make her tell?" Aria was frowning at her, obviously frustrated.

"I was going to say we just straight up ask her. If Ali has truly changed, she'll have no problem telling the truth." Emily looked slightly uncomfortable at the thought that Ali might be lying, but Spencer brushed it off. Spencer saw Alison emerging from the corner of her eye, and she got up to stop her, despite the other girls' protests.

Alison's perfectly manicured eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she saw Spencer speed walk towards her. "Whoa, where's the fire, Spence?" She attempted to joke, but no smile reached the brunette's lips.

"Ali, there's something I need to know, and I need you to tell me the truth, okay?" Still confused, Ali nodded. She motioned for Spencer to continue.

"What happened between you and Hanna, before you 'disappeared'?" Shock made itself apparent in Alison's crystal blue eyes, and her pink lips hung agape as she remained speechless for a moment.

"W..What are you talking about, Spencer? What did Hanna tell you?" The brunette merely raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. Alison unknowingly admitted guilt to something.

"Hanna never told me anything." She glared at Alison who gulped, a nervous look plastered on her face. "So, what happened?" Alison shut her eyes in defeat, knowing she was caught. Knowing that it ws all going to be found out eventually, Alison told her the truth.

 _ ****FLASHBACK****_

 _ **Two years ago**_

" _Hanna, you know you don't have to look like this, right?" Alison cocked her head innocently, eying the other blonde's clothes. Hanna was wearing an oversized pink sweatshirt with gray sweatpants, her hair messily pulled up into a bun._

" _What do you mean, Ali? I'm comfortable." Hanna twisted her mouth at Alison, her blue eyes wide with confusion. Alison sighed, taking a seat next to her. Obviously, a sigh wasn't good. Hanna wasn't sure if she liked where this was going._

" _It's not what you're wearing…. It's the fact of_ why _you have to wear it." Alison brushed her silky blonde hair out of her face, eying Hanna up and down. All Hanna wanted to was shrink inside herself, seeing the way her friend was staring at her. She knew what Ali was referring to. Ali was petite and beautiful… whereas Hanna looked bloated and enormous. Ugly. "I can help you, Han." Alison said, a slight smirk on her lips._

" _How, Ali? You cant exactly make all of this," she motioned to herself, "disappear." Hanna hugged herself, feeling incredibly insecure._

" _Purging," Ali said simply, as if Hanna should've already known._

" _What's that?" Hanna scrunched her face in confusion. "Is that some sort of religious thing?" Alison rolled her eyes, as if Hanna had just asked the most idiotic question in the world._

" _No, Hanna. Purging is throwing up after every meal you eat. Like, you're getting all the calories, and then you get rid of them. You won't be hungry or anything." Hanna didn't understand how throwing up would help her, but she pressed for more information anyway._

" _Does it hurt?"_

" _No, it doesn't hurt."_

" _Why should I do it?"_

" _Because, you don't have to be ugly forever, Han."_

" _You're a good friend, Ali." Little did Hanna know, was that Alison would lead to her own self destruction. Alison knew that Hanna wanted to become her, and she couldn't just let that happen. Hanna would take all of the glory and attention away from her, and that wasn't something Ali wanted to happen. She knew someday Hanna would understand._

Spencer stared at Alison in horror. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Nor could the others. Her smoldering brown eyes locked onto Alison's glacial ones, and she had to refrain herself from hitting her.

"You introduced Hanna to an _eating disorder_ just so you could make sure you remained queen of Rosewood? What the _hell_ Alison?" The blonde shrunk back slightly from Spencer's wrath, unexpecting that much of an outburst.

"Yes… I did. I know it's wrong, but I was different back then." Alison pleaded with her, hating that she sounded so weak.

"No, Ali. I think you're still the same. I mean I thought Hanna was being paranoid when she said you hated her, but now I can see why she'd think that. This is all because of _you,_ isn't it?" Alison cast her eyes downward, knowing she was caught red-handed. She honestly thought that the girls didn't care that much for Hanna, that they were all only with her because Ali had brought them together. Apparently she was wrong.

"I… I don't know what to say, Spencer." Alison fidgeted slightly, feeling increasingly comfortable under Spencer's steely glare.

"Good. It's time you were quiet for once. I can't believe you would do that to Hanna, knowing how much she looked up to you. Eating disorders are hard to overcome, Hanna probably _still_ has one." Spencer paused, realizing how much _pain_ Hanna must be in. "You won't be here to find out, though. I'm done with you. I'm pretty sure the others are, too." Spencer glanced over at Aria and Emily who nodded in agreement, although Emily looked heartbroken. She was in shock that Alison would do something so…evil.

Spencer gave her one last cold look, before walking around her, Aria and Emily in tow.

Right now, Spencer was going to tell Caleb _everything_ and hoped that despite everything, he would help her save Hanna before she destroyed herself completely. She pulled out her cellphone, and dialed Caleb's number. He answered on the third ring.

"Caleb," Spencer said sharply. "We need to talk. It's about Hanna."

 **Alright, guys. I'll try to update by this weekend. Don't forget to check out Princess-Xion and SoraxKairi7's Stories. If you are a Fan of Kingdom Hearts, and ships Like Sokai, Or Roxinami, or even RoxKai and Venkai, then please check them out! They are Amazing! Alright, see you next time guys!**


	5. Redemption

"Caleb, We need to talk." Spencer's voice floated into Caleb's phone. "It's about Hanna."

The sentence woke him up from the daze he was currently in, and he sat upright in his seat.

"What are you talking about, Spencer?" There was an urgency in his tone, and about a hundred outcomes ran through his head as to what she had to say.

He thought of Hanna, and her smile that almost outdid the sun in brightness, and he thought of her as she was now. He thought of her pale face, her tearstained cheeks, and the imminent pain that had shone in her glassy blue eyes.

"This isn't going to be easy for me to say…I mean, I'm not sure you are going to want to hear this," Spencer said softly."

"Look, I don't care what it is. All I want to do is help Hanna, so just tell me what it is okay?" Caleb snapped at her, without exactly meaning to. It was a reflex that he had to work on controlling when he became agitated.

Spencer sighed into the phone, and he could almost feel the burden she was about to let off her chest.

"Alison coming back did this to her. Before she disappeared, Alison was jealous that Hanna would take her place as Queen of Rosewood High. To her, Hanna was competition, nothing more, nothing less. She did something to ensure that Hanna would be too messed up to even think of replacing her..." Spencer trailed off, and just the thought of Alison doing such a thing to Hanna, the one person who possibly looked up to her even more so than Emily, made her blood boil.

She cleared her throat before continuing.

"Caleb, what Alison did was introduce her to Bulimia. You know, the eating disorder."

Spencer heard what sounded like a growl, then a crash come from his line. She shut her eyes in remorse, because she deeply regretted the fact that she had not studied her best friend's behavior closer.

\Spencer was supposed to be the smart one, and she had just chalked it up to Hanna being in a fight with Caleb. But… She had been like this ever since Alison came back, just how many fights could Hanna and Caleb have gotten into? She was sure as hell that it wouldn't have been that many, had that been the case.

"Caleb, being angry isn't going to help her. Alison has warped her mind so much, that anger is only going to make it worse."

"I know." Caleb sighed, and he felt like he was being weighed down with all this information. He was consumed with guilt, and all he could think about was how betrayed Hanna must feel. He was willing to walk away, no questions asked, and he never even noticed the pain she was in. That she had been in for all this time. "I just… I'm just so angry at myself for not noticing. I just can't believe this."

Suddenly, the bell rang into her ears, and Spencer knew it was time to go.

"Cale-" Spencer started, but Caleb cut her off.

"I know. I'll talk to you later, I'm going to go try talking to Hanna." With that, Caleb hung up, and he found himself more confused than ever. He had not a clue in the world as to how he should approach this.

 **I'm sorry that it is so short, guys. I am going to update later today. I'm just going through some really annoying stuff. Again, I am so, so so sorry for how long this took. Love you all!**


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